The 1 Rule for confidence is to be yourself!

Young Bohémienne: Natalie Clifford Barney (1875-1972) at the age of 10 (painting by Carolus-Duran) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I meet so many women who are uncomfortable in their own skin; after all there is a fine line between demure and abashed. While one is a character trait the other is a result of one’s perception of self, usually a negative one. The last time I felt awkward and cringed in my own skin was in high school, in my attempt to be cool, I wore a tight-fitting cocktail dress. Black lace and a bright yellow bow was all it took to make me feel like a turkey on show! Thank God for my father, a man of principle and obviously taste, who forbade me to walk out of the house looking like the bride of Frankenstein. As any normal teenager, I rolled my eyes and protested, but secretly I was so happy that he made me change. My ego didn’t let me publicly admit my fashion faux pas but that day I learned a valuable lesson, never try to be someone else!

It’s one thing to be inspired and quite another to erase one’s own identity and absorb someone else’s persona. My inspiration by the likes of those gorgeous Bohemian style divas leads me to don flowing skirts, but it’s still me underneath the boho skirt. Just like my skin tone, which is brown, cream and uneven, my fashion sense isn’t defiantly anything but always comfortable.

Lace shirts with frayed denim shorts and gold jewellery – that’s me! Hair colour that changes more frequently than the weather courtesy global warming, fashion style that is constantly evolving, adapting, and always experimenting that’s who I am. What about you? Is your personality hiding in the closet or tucked away in the back of your wardrobe? Waiting in the sidelines for the approval of peers, fashion magazines, friends, family, the cat next door?

In one of my earlier posts I had written that the one must have accessory for a plus size woman is confidence, I reiterate: the number one rule for confidence is to be yourself!

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The one must have accessory for every plus-size woman- Confidence!

It’s all about the attitude, a confidant one goes a long way in getting you labelled as amazing! While every model/actress/artist, basically every woman, vies to be known as the most beautiful, very few are tapping the extremely accessible amazing. If you are anything like me, being known as an amazing woman is just as, if not better, than being known as a beautiful looking woman. Being known, as a beautiful woman is any day more flattering than a beautiful looking woman, because looks fade with time and not everyone agrees on what is beautiful, but your soul does not age, it only evolves.

Personality is what makes the guy you have a crush on, approach you and have a chat. Ever met someone who wasn’t the prettiest in the room but managed to have the maximum number of genuine friends, off course you have, that’s your best friend. She isn’t a hottie but she is the darling of your life, the one who makes you laugh and cries with you when you’re hurting and not necessarily in that order.

Personality doesn’t just get you admires or friends; they get you mates for life. A strong confidant personality is a major component, but often neglected, of being beautiful. Abraham Lincoln wasn’t the handsomest of men, in fact quite the contrary, neither was George Bernard Shaw, but both men in their respective fields, wowed and inspired millions and still do today. Look at spidey, until he was a gawky lanky teenager he was oblivious, gets bitten by a spider, learns to hang up side down without falling, starts oozing confidence and every chic has a secret crush on him!

Seriously, how many villains have you had a crush on, unless you have a thing for bad boys, not matter how handsome? Any admirers for Tom Felton? Alexander Ludwig? Tom Hiddleston? No, Heath Ledger doesn’t count, he totally rocked in A Knight’s tale and 10 things I hate About you, plus he had paint on as the joker, doesn’t count.

Confidence makes you comfortable in your own skin, which basically means the real you isn’t hiding behind some pieces of fabric but is free to shine to mesmerise. Remember Donna Noble from Dr. Who; she wasn’t the prettiest of Dr. Who companions but the most loved, why? Do you even have to ask? Personality, she is plus size but her confidence is refreshing and by the end of the season you are completely in love with her, she almost overshadows the ever-charming time traveling youthful Dr. Who.

Oprah winfrey, Queen Latifa, are few examples of women who are beautiful more for their personality than for their looks. When did being plus size mean that you fell in the ‘non good-looking’ category? Christina Schmidt is one of the most gorgeous women and yes she is plus size! There are many, many more examples of beautiful women but a strong, confidant women can make belly fat, cellulite and extra pounds all disappear. Now that’s the secret no one wants to let out, but I’m calling for a Fashion revolution, want to join me?