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The 1 Rule for confidence is to be yourself!


Young Bohémienne: Natalie Clifford Barney (187...

Young Bohémienne: Natalie Clifford Barney (1875-1972) at the age of 10 (painting by Carolus-Duran) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I meet so many women who are uncomfortable in their own skin; after all there is a fine line between demure and abashed. While one is a character trait the other is a result of one’s perception of self, usually a negative one. The last time I felt awkward and cringed in my own skin was in high school, in my attempt to be cool, I wore a tight-fitting cocktail dress. Black lace and a bright yellow bow was all it took to make me feel like a turkey on show! Thank God for my father, a man of principle and obviously taste, who forbade me to walk out of the house looking like the bride of Frankenstein. As any normal teenager, I rolled my eyes and protested, but secretly I was so happy that he made me change. My ego didn’t let me publicly admit my fashion faux pas but that day I learned a valuable lesson, never try to be someone else!

It’s one thing to be inspired and quite another to erase one’s own identity and absorb someone else’s persona. My inspiration by the likes of those gorgeous Bohemian style divas leads me to don flowing skirts, but it’s still me underneath the boho skirt. Just like my skin tone, which is brown, cream and uneven, my fashion sense isn’t defiantly anything but always comfortable.

Lace shirts with frayed denim shorts and gold jewellery – that’s me! Hair colour that changes more frequently than the weather courtesy global warming, fashion style that is constantly evolving, adapting, and always experimenting that’s who I am. What about you? Is your personality hiding in the closet or tucked away in the back of your wardrobe? Waiting in the sidelines for the approval of peers, fashion magazines, friends, family, the cat next door?

In one of my earlier posts I had written that the one must have accessory for a plus size woman is confidence, I reiterate: the number one rule for confidence is to be yourself!



Author: Antonia Rapheal

Author, blogger, philosopher and mother of three. I ruminate over things that disturb me, write about things that inspire me and blog about things that tend to annoy me. I love life and it saddens me to think that there are so many people out there, unhappy and stressed. I hope that my writings and stories will help ease a little of that.

7 thoughts on “The 1 Rule for confidence is to be yourself!

  1. Pingback: Let your Personality and Confidence shine through! |

  2. Learning to grow up to be demure has ripped off my idea of fashion. I tell this sadly. A T- shirt and a jean has always been my clothes. Anybody with eyes closed can say I have come today in it. After my child was born and observing my female contemporaries in stylish, luxurious clothing, I have now started to try out different clothing before I believe I’m too old for that.

    • I was always a bit of a wild child, knee length hair, ripped jeans (way before it was fashionable), bandanas and a huge peace sign for a necklace… Today I try to dress a ‘lil propa’ business suits, dresses and makeup. Once in a while the wild child in me gets out.. but she is a lot more stylish because with age I realised that youth can carry off most looks. Age however tends to demand a little class and style… I’m evolving and its all me, just the way I like it. No peer pressure or invisible social norms to follow. Just me! 🙂

  3. This is so true. You can wear whatever you want. As long as you be true to yourself you will always be a star!

  4. I love this! Most people don’t even know what skin tone they are… they just assume they are warm in they’re tan and cool if they’re pale, but that’s not true. I actually wrote a blog article that has some great tricks and tips. Check it out and let me know what you think!
    xoxo, WearToStandOut

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